Plate tectonics in the Midlands – Result

Written by:

Having taken out a reduced price subscription to the Times my wife pointed out the other day that the weather map for the UK shows Birmingham a lot farther south than she expected. I got out our road map and sure enough Birmingham was about fifty miles south east of where it should be and Oxford for some reason was a little further north.

Great chance to get a letter printed in the Times so yesterday I drafted and emailed the following:

BRUMMIES GO SOUTH FOR WINTER

Sir, I am not sure whether it is due to climate change or a response to the recession, but on your recent weather maps, Birmingham appears to be moving south-east towards Oxford, which is in turn moving north to meet it. The Cotswolds must surely be feeling the squeeze.

RON DONALDSON
Peterborough, Cambs

Instant result though perhaps it may not be published – my email reply that I received this morning with a much funnier title:

PLATE TECTONICS IN THE MIDLANDS

Dear Mr Donaldson,
Many thanks for taking the trouble to point out the  defective geography on our weather map.  I have reproached the person responsible and have been assured that Birmingham’s southward rampage has been arrested.
best wishes,
Too late to change the map today, I look forward to checking Friday’s Times to see if I have made a difference.

Leave a comment

Latest Articles