Narrative Ecology – Blog of Ron Donaldson – fACILITATOR, TRAINER AND COACH

A complex system requires boundary conditions, not too tight that they constrain and not too loose as they allow unacceptable behaviours.

I was pleasantly surprised when I  picked up the discarded itinerary for my son’s Stag Do for this weekend just gone. From scant anecdotal evidence of news reports of Newquay in Cornwall and other relations stag events, my wife and I imagined the worst, a chaotic system with no regulation, ensuring our fingers were crossed for the entire four days.

Well it turns out one of his friends must have studied Complexity theory and cynefin dynamics and how to move a situation into at least the complex domain. If a flock of birds can do it with “follow, keep your distance and avoid obstacles” here is how seven mid twenty year-old young men do it – absolutely verbatim from the itinerary:

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GROUND RULES

It is an 18-30s campsite, so they expect things to get a little ‘wild’. However there are limits and if any of us go ‘over the top’ they will keep our additional £25 per person security deposit.

It is Toby’s stag do, and is therefore all about him. Do not behave in a way which could jeopardise his enjoyment of the weekend.

Almost any stag ‘pranks’ towards Toby are acceptable apart from:

• “shaving off his lovely hair” (not my words, his Mam’s)
• “tying him naked to a lamp-post” (also his Mam)
• Anything that could endanger Toby’s or any other Stagger’s life (obvious I hope)

Relax and enjoy yourself

If the tents rocking, don’t come knocking!

Finally, what happens on the stag weekend, stays on the stag weekend.

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Brilliant, self organising, self regulating and in everyone’s best interests. Everyone survived the ordeal despite the amount they drank, awful bruises from the paintballing and spinning the go-carts but a good time was had by all, thank goodness.